I think there is no puns in those texts. The man who is look-alike Harrison Ford is only surprised at the largeness of yukkuris.
poweryoga's analysis is very interesting but a word "Futatsu" is composed of two parts, Futa and tsu. Futa is 2, tsu is a kind of counter words. So "２ゆ" never can be pronounced "futsuyu" but "futayu". Any Japanese do not think that pronounce of "２ゆ" and "普通" is alike.
1) I thought Mokous were immortal, so shouldn't they be resistant to melting, let alone death? 2) How the hell did a Reimu X Youmu pair birth a Mokou, anyway?
1) That Youmu might not know Mokou's immortality. The Youmu only intended to extinguish Mokou's fire ability for the sake of safety.
2) Rare yukkuris are occasionally born between normal yukkuris. The phenomenon called "Changeling(チェンジリング)". There are many stories about yukkuri changeling and this story is one of them. Most famous type of changeling is an Sanae born between Reimu and Marisa.
The text to the sides seems to be a haiku. Can't be bothered to translate while keeping with haiku rules.
It is not a haiku but lyrics of the song of Yumi Matsutoya, "Hikoukigumo(Vapour Trails)."
It was an old song but draws attention because it was used as main theme of "The Wind Rises(風立ちぬ)", an Japanese animated historical drama film written and directed by Hayao Miyazaki and animated by Studio Ghibli.
Here are lyrics & translation
空に憧れて 空をかけてゆく She admires the sky, is dashing through the sky
What little Reimu saw was a Marisa embraced in mister human's arms with great care on the opposite side of the street.
Gorgeous sweater, brilliant hat, everything that Marisa wearing was very easy.
The fugure was the very princess little Reimu had imagined.
*The style of sentence in the squere is narrative or fairy-tale style just like the stories begin with a line "once upon a time..."
**I'm a Japanese so my translation will have many errors in grammar or expressions. Please point out mistakes in order to improve translations. Thanks!
as usual, little Reimu and mommy were going hunting together.
On the way to mister gabage dump, little Reimu saw an eye-opening view.
(Yu? What's wrong, little one?)
*The style of sentence in the squere is narrative or fairy-tale style just like the stories begin with a line "once upon a time..."
**I'm a Japanese so my translation will have many errors in grammar or expressions. Please point out mistakes in order to improve translations. Thanks!
However, there was a great gap between little Reimu's ideal and the reality.
Little Reimu believed that little Reimu owned everything:
Big house, soft fluffy mister bed, mister food in abundance, delicious sweet-sweet, slaves serving little Reimu
Little Reimu assumed that all of easy goods belonged to little Reimu. In fact, there was not anything little Reimu wanted. Not only that, but little Reimu's world was full of uneasy things.
While living a hard and unlucky life, little Reimu started to realize that little Reimu was possibly not a princess.
*The style of sentence in the squere is narrative or fairy-tale style just like the stories begin with a line "once upon a time..."
**I'm a Japanese so my translation will have many errors in grammar or expressions. I cannot use "a" or "the" correctly! Please point out mistakes in order to improve translations. Thanks!
(Wiz reverentwy worshipping Reimyu's radiant beaury, prostrate yoursewf before Reimyu!)
It was supposed to be foreordination from when Reimyu was in Mommy's tummy.
*The style of sentence in the squere is narrative or fairy-tale style just like the stories begin with a line "once upon a time..."
**I'm a Japanese so my translation will have many errors in grammar or expressions. Please point out mistakes in order to improve translations. Thanks!
Anon: It's to the point where I'll buy a wagon purely for your disposal! (*this was hard to understand, might be a little off-base*)
Reimu: Zo-! Zorr-! Zorry! Reibu's health has reached its- BUBO!
ワゴン(wagon) is abbreviated from ワゴンセール(wagon-sale) in this picture. ワゴンセール(wagon-sale) means bargain corner to sell off stock cheaply and wagon means a shelf of the corner. If something is placed in the shelf of wagon-sale, you know that it will be disposed soon. So Anon's words imply that Reimu should be grateful to anon because she saved Reimu from the wagon, fate of disposal. I cannot translate the word well but, for example, Anon: I did save you from the wagon by buying you!
ちょーしのる（調子に乗る choushi ni noru）is not a word about health but a critical expression for rude attitude. So, for example, Reimu: Zo-! Zorr-! Zorry! Reibu got carried away- BUBO!