Posting this here because I can't seem to post on Yukkuri fanfics for some reason.
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Anko3639: Yukkuris look down on fighting!
"Yu he he... Oi! Shitty human over there! Give the great Marisa that mister food right now!"
"Hand it over quickly! Reimu hates scum! And Reimu's Marisa is really strong! If you don't want to get hurt, you better not think of disobeying us!"
While I was eating convenience stall rice balls on my usual bench in the park, the usual wild yukkuris came threatening, demanding this and that. A filthy wild Marisa and wild Reimu, an ex----tremely common nuisance.
"Oi! Are you listening, shitty human! If you don't hand over mister food quickly, Marisa will punish you -no ze!"
"Do it, Marisa! The shitty human is stupid, he won't get it no matter how many times you say it!"
"Fuu... yare yare da ze. Marisa thought the shitty human had more intelligence than this, what a disappointment -ze!"
"Yun! It's nothing to worry about, Marisa! The useless shitty human is the one at fault!"
"Geez, the great Marisa thought things would go smoothly with this lenient heart, but Marisa was foolish to think so -ze..."
As usual, these yukkuri play out their boring scene of looking down on humans.
This wild pair are just saying whatever they like; ordering me to hand over food when they first encounter me, then changing plans to attacking me and stealing my food when the earlier plan fails... or so it appears.
How dare they... they haven't even won, haven't even fought, yet they can still act like this.
In their empty brains, they're certainly thinking that their win is assured... really the fools of the bunch.
And laughing vulgarly, the wild Marisa came towards my feet, staying a good distance away.
"Yu heh heh~~ Are you prepared -ze? Shitty human should just take one hit from the strongest great Marisa, and take it easy for eternity -no ze!"
"Ho~... so you intend to kill me?"
"The great Marisa doesn't actually want to do this, you know? The one who gave no choice is you, the stupid shitty human, isn't it? So if you're angry, blame it on your own stupidity, got that -ze? The great Marisa isn't at fault -no zeeee! It's the weak-weak shitty human who's totally at fault -zeeeee!!"
"Yu! Just as Marisa said! The weak ones are the only ones who're at fault!"
"Hmm~... Then I'll take you on with the intent to kill too. I don't wanna get killed anyway."
"Yubububu~~~~! So the weak-weak shitty human thinks he can win against the great Marisa -no zeeeee!? You better be prepared to get it -zeeee!"
"How pitiful... this shitty human. He really thinks that he's stronger than a yukkuri, doesn't he... Just watching this is going to be painful. Reimu is already starting to pity him..."
"Hey, hurry up and bring it. Or what? Is all that stuff about being the strongest Marisa just talk only?"
"Yufu~... so you can only use mister bluff -no ze? Because you can't win with your power, so you can only try to bluff -no ze? Shitty human is really disgraceful -no ze... It can't be helped, this great Marisa will end it quickly with her one-hit kill -no ze...!"
"Marisa... try to kill him without too much pain, okay? That's the duty of the strong, remember?"
"Got it -ze. It's the job that comes with the title of the strongest -ze... fine then! If shitty human thinks he can do anything-! Then Marisa will shatter that foolish delusion -zeeee!"
"Just like that, Marisa! Yuyu~n, Reimu's Marisa really is easy~~~"
"Marisa is-! Sorry for, being so strong!"
Wondering whether it was going to come or not, I took my time to finish all the remaining rice balls.
With this, even if they HAPPEN to win, they won't achieve their original aim... really, their stupidity just keeps increasing.
"Marisa's gonna attack -ze? Shitty human... it'll be over in one hit! It's the climax right from the start -ze!"
"Ah~ yeah yeah. I got it, so just come already... how boring."
"What a miserable shit you are... but that all ends here -ze! Die easyyyyyyy!!"
The wild Marisa charged my legs in a body slam. Thinking I had time, I glanced at my watch... then, at that time! The Marisa suddenly accelerated!
What the? I missed the timing. Crap... just as I thought that, Marisa slammed into my legs.
Crack!
Guwa...! Wh-what's that sound and pain...!?
What's going on... That wild Marisa actually broke my legs with one hit!
Impossible! Yukkuris can't do that sort of thing...!
With my legs broken, I fall to the ground. O-ouch! Ouch! Ouuuuch!
No way... how could a yukkuri break bone!
"Didn't Marisa say already... there's a gap between us -ze?"
"Guh...!"
The wild Marisa approaches me with pitying eyes.
O-oi... stop. You still intend to continue after that last body slam?
If you do that, I'll definitely... die...
"This will be the finisher -ze. Shitty human who doesn't know how to be scared should die easy...!"
For the first time since I was born, I realized that I was going to be killed.
Or so the wild Marisa and Reimu deluded themselves into thinking in their minds.
Alright, time for the painful reality!
"Yugyah!?"
The wild Marisa's teeth scattered all over the place from my kick.
And the wild Reimu just went 'Yu?' and froze up.
"Yubeee!? Yu-Yugiiii... it hurdssss! Mawiza's face hurdssssss!"
"Who the fuck is bluffing, you say? Who's the one acting brave, huh? Heeey, oi!?"
"Yugya! Sd-sdoooop! Sdop kickiiiiiiing! Can't you see the great Bawiza can't take it easyyyyyy!?"
"Shatter that foolish delusion? Hey, answer me, great Marisa~ Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!"
"Yubeh! Yugeh! W-wry is the great Bawiza los... Yugyuuuuu!"
I pursued and continue kicking that wild Marisa over and over.
By now, the wild Marisa is struggling to breathe, like it's close to death.
Its teeth have been knocked out, its skin covered in bruises, and it keeps crying 'Yunya- Yunya-' while dripping tears.
The wild Reimu continues to stay in its frozen state.
The reality that victory was just a delusion has yet to sink into their consciousness.
No, it's probably because they don't want to believe it.
"Di-diz iz straaaaange! Wry iz the great Bariza losing to the shitty humaaaan!"
"That's simple. It's because you're weak, isn't it?"
"Zat can't beeeee! Zhe great Bariza iz strooong! Mister frog! Mister beetle! All of them lost to the great Barizaaaa! Then wwrryyyyyy!?"
"Ah-hah. Then I'll ask this, humans are waaa~~~~y bigger than those tiiii~~~ny frogs and beetles. Doesn't that mean that humans are clearly stronger than them?"
"Yuu!?"
"But it's like that, right? Everyone knows that bigger is stronger. So why did you think that because you beat frogs and beetles, you can beat humans?... what an embarrassment."
"Yu...Yuguuuuu!"
Thinking you can defeat something bigger than you after defeating something smaller than you, that's the weird yukkuri mindset.
I doubt there's any human who think they can beat an African elephant after beating an ant.
It's hard to believe, but the yukkuri mindset is clearly warped...
"Sh-shiddy human must've used some unfair triiiiick! Zhe great Bariza wanted choo fight fairly, but ended up losing becuz of zat unfair trick -zeeeee!!"
"Ho~... unfair trick, huh. Exactly when did I do something like that?"
"Bariza doezn't knoooow! Anyway, you zid somezing unfaaaair! Ohh, cheater cheater! Cheating shiddy human don't zake it eazy and die quicklyyyyy!"
"Hoho~?"
Losing because someone did something unfair... yukkuris who don't want to admit they lost because of their weakness will thoughtlessly say such things so as to take it easy a bit more.
But I won't forgive such crappy reasoning. There's no place for it in a serious battle.
"So, I cheated... so what?"
"Yu!? Are you stupid -ze!? Cheating is uneasy -ze!? Breaking the rules is what scum does -no zeeee!"
"Hey now... Were you intending on challenging me in some fair match with rules? Did you think that some kind and easy referee would stop our fight and award you the win just because I cheated?"
"Yuyu!?"
"As if... right? What I asked you first was whether you 'intended to kill me'. And you replied yes, didn't you. Plus you were yelling 'Die easy' so enthusiastically when you attacked."
"YU... za-zat's...!"
"Then that means what we're having now is a death match with no rules. In other words, it's a war between you and me. As if a battle like this cares about cheating, stupid. Rather, cheating moves are the way to go on the battlefield. Such an easy school of thought it is."
"Za-zat's juz weeeeeiiirrdd! Mister cheating can't...! Can't take it easy!"
"Shut up, dumbass."
"Yubya!?"
Just as it's about to give another one of its stupid logic conclusions, I kicked the wild Marisa again.
The great Marisa flew a little, tears scattering from its eyes.
I continue walking alongside the Marisa, kicking it continuously as I go.
"In the first place, the fact that one can do unfair things, isn't it actually proof that one is smart?"
"Yubii! Za-zat's not..."
"You know what? I think I'm way smarter than a certain idiot who can't even see the difference between itself and its opponent, just blindly believing that it can win at random without even preparing any winning strategies."
"Yubeohhh! Th-that's not...! Bariza izn't an idio... Yubohhh!?"
"Sd-sdoooob iiiiiit! You're hurding Barizaaaaa!"
"Ahn?"
When I looked around, I finally saw the previously frozen Reimu was standing in my way, tearfully pleading with me to stop the fight.
What the heck is it saying now, when it was also mouthing off before the fight, huh...
"Shut the hell up. Outsiders shouldn't butt in."
"Out...? Reimu's not an outsider, riiiight!? Reibu is Bariza's wife, riiiight!?"
"That's still an outsider. Right now the only ones fighting are me and this shitty Marisa. Don't tell people to stop from the side when you aren't even part of the fight, dammit."
"Yuguu!?"
"In the first place, what the hell do you mean 'hurting'? Weren't you intending to hurt me too?"
"Bu-buddddd... diz iz too much..."
"Too much-? You guys were planning to kill me, weren't you! Compared to killing a human, this isn't anything much, is it!"
"Zat's! So cruel! Can't take it easy!"
"...hey. Only the winner has the right to end the fight. Losers and outsiders can go whine all the fuck they want, but only the winner has it all! And that includes the right to stop the fight too!"
"Bu-bud! Budddd! Diz iz too cruel! Wry iz mizter human fine with doing zuch cruel things like zisssss!? Bariza's gonna die if you keep doing this, riiiiight!!"
"...Haah? What shit are you saying when you were planning to do worse than that to me, huh?"
"YUU!?"
"Die? Don't just play the victims when you would-be killers get the tables turned on you! Did you forget? You're the ones who came picking a fight with me, right?"
"Yu, Yugii!? Yugigigigigigi...!"
"And you yourself said it earlier. Yeah, it was... the weak ones are the only one at fault, wasn't it? That means this shitty weak Marisa is the only one to blame, ri~ght? I'm not to blame at all, ri~ght? Right?"
"YUGAAAAAAAA!"
The wild Reimu cannot say anything in return. It shouldn't be able to.
Because these types of stupid yukkuri never actually think about winning or losing when they get into a fight.
That means they never put their lives on the line to win.
To these yukkuri, the thing that determines the winner is the one who takes it easier establishing superiority by making fun of their opponent before the fight.
They don't take it easy after winning. They think of the fight itself as nothing more than an extra. That's why they can't win.
That's why once they realize they can't win, they take it easy, playing the victim, acting the role of 'one who's being toyed around with by a mysterious power'. In the end, they're just shitty manjuu heads who can only think about taking it easy.
And if they think they're going to lose, they'll say whatever comes to mind. Which means...
"Sd-sdob alreadyyyy... It'z Bariza's loss... zo pleaze don't kick anymoooore...!"
"Ba-Barizaaaa!?"
"Ho~... so you admit you've lost?"
"Ye-yezzz... Mizter human iz strong... Bariza wuz weak... Zo pleaze-"
"But no dice."
"Yugieeeee!?"
Though the wild Marisa was miserably pleading for its life, I ignored it and just kept kicking.
Everything they say just gets on my nerves...
"Wh-whyyyy!? Whyyyyyy!?"
"Marisa lost, that's it? Mister human is strong, so what? What the heck, man. You being weak, me being strong, you didn't even accept any of it! You just lost, so you're thinking 'Let's just do this' and that's it, right? Dumbass. I don't need your acknowledgement at all! Shitty yukkuri are fucking weak, us humans are strong! That's reality!"
"Th-that's wrong! That's wroooong! Yukkuri are strong! But we're just feeling bad now! Because mister human cheated!"
"Aah, I see. So yukkuri are strong, but they beg for their lives when they lose, huh. Ohh, so strong, so strong~"
"NO! NOOO! That's not it at alllllll!"
"Well, whatever. Whatever the case, I'm just going to kill you like I said I would. Go out in a way befitting the strongest."
"Yuyuuuu! WRRRYYYYY!? Bariza apologized, riiiight!? It'z normal to forgive apologizing, isn't it -zeeeeee!?"
"Normal, huh. So, how many times have you been forgiven after apologizing?"
"Yu?"
"I bet the only ones who did so are your parents and sisters, just within the family, right?"
"YUUUUU! WRY DO YOU KNOW DAAAAT!?"
"If it's family, then it's typical to get away with things just by saying sorry. But that's not how it works with others. And as if I'd pardon someone who really came to kill me just because they apologized once. This isn't some apologize, forgive and forget sort of thing, you know."
"Do-don't get iiiiiit! It's natural to forgive after saying sorry, riiiight! The great Bariza didn't do anything wrooooong!"
"Now you're showing your true colors. If you don't think you're at fault, then why are you apologizing? Is the great Marisa stupid? Do you want to die?"
"Yugiiiii! Don't make fun of Barizaaaaaa!"
"Besides... the reason why I don't forgive you isn't because you came to kill me, it's actually something else."
"Yubeh!?"
"Ba-Barizaaaa! Hang in theeeere!?"
I stepped on the wild Marisa, and spoke to it softly.
"...you fuckers are looking down on fights! That's what I can't forgive...! No resolve to take a life, no resolve to lose your life, picking a fight with anyone like it's some kind of fucking game...! Not doing anything in order to win, thinking that you can just get away with apologizing after losing! That gutless attitude pisses me off!"
"Yuhiiiiiii!"
"M-Mister human? Take it easy! Take it easyyyyyyy!?"
"I was thinking of killing you two like this..."
"Do-don't wannaaaaa! Bariza doezn't wanna diiiiiiiie!"
"Deibu doezn't want choo die eiztheeeeer!?"
"But I changed my mind. I'll let you experience it until you die... the despair of those who fight with no resolve---!"
The wild Reimu looked up at my face at those words. It probably thought that I was something that couldn't take it easy.
I wonder what the Marisa thought too. Of this furious, uneasy chillness.
When they finally noticed it, the two of them broke into tearful wails.
""YU, YUNYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!?""
A few days later... there was a wild yukkuri couple in a certain alley.
It was the same pair that ended up losing after picking a fight with a human.
Both had expressions that spoke of their inability to take it easy. The wild Marisa's black hat was missing its brim. And the wild Reimu's red-white ribbon was missing most of its right half. Of course, these were done by the human.
Yukkuris whose accessories are damaged can't take it easy. But in addition to that...
"Yuyu! There are some yukkuri who can't take it easy over there -ze!"
"Indeed! Such hick yukkuris!"
"Let's go punish them a little-! We're sure to win against yukkuris who can't take it easy-!"
"Yufun! Deibu will show off Deibu's strength!"
""YU, YUNYAAAAAA....""
Every day the nearby wild yukkuri would see the damaged accessories and come to attack the wild couple.
Those attacks were certainly done without the resolve to fight.
Not caring about winning or losing at all, taking lives without preparing to lose theirs... that's the sort of fight it was.
With their accessories damaged, the wild Marisa and wild Reimu that had lost their confidence had no willpower to fend off those unreasonable attacks anymore.
Without any mental strength, yukkuris become total weaklings.
It was a one-sided attack on the wild couple by the other wild yukkuris.
"YU-YUNYAAAA! SDOB ALREADYYYY! LED BARIZA TAGE ID EAZYYYY!"
"ZORRY! ZORRY FOR FIGHZING WITHOUT ANY REZOLVE! WON'D DO IT AGAINB! WON'T, ZO... DON'T BULLY DEIBU EDDYMOOOOAAAAAAR!!"
Going into a serious battle where winner takes everything the loser owns without any resolve or chance of winning isn't something to do so lightly.
The wild couple who lost their accessories will probably recall it until they die.
The oppressive result that comes from entering an important fight of a lifetime without any resolve...
END
Another aesopian story, I guess. But I like those where the yukkuris' words get turned against them. Best one I liked among the whole lot was this: If you don't think you're at fault, then why are you apologizing? Is the great Marisa stupid? Do you want to die?
Freaking awesome!
Updated by JusticeItEasy