はんぶんこ by Tsurezure-aki
A stray Reimu mother and child demand sweet-sweets from a girl eating ice cream in the park. She sets her ice cream on the ground and tells them to go halfsies and share it nicely. The greedy strays eat it messily and declare the girl their slave.
Then the girl picks up the mother Reimu, saying that she and her older sister both like yukkuris, and they often fight over things, so she's going to go halfsies on Reimu and share her with her sister. The girl tries to tear Reimu apart by her cheeks, but her skin just tears raggedly. She tries yanking on her flap-flaps, but one just tears off. She tries again with the Koreimu, trying to rip her in half from her mamumamu. Apparently, the girl has seen pictures of yukkuris who've gone "Eat up!" and thinks that you can split them cleanly in half, but she can't do it. Giving up, she takes the still-living yukkuris' ribbons instead, saying that she can cut them in half with a pair of scissors.
The girl brings the ribbons to her sister. Her sister teases her for forgetting that it's not Reimus she likes, it's Marisas--she doesn't want the ribbons. The girl thinks that it's just as well she wasn't able to make the Reimus go "halfsies," then. She throws the ribbons in the trash and runs off to look for some Marisas.