These are some really nice edits Maybe try and fill in some of the gaps where you have removed the original text and it will make the whole thing look a lot better
I just love how abusive this anon is. I hate killing trash stories.- Patheti excuse for abuse. Real anon will make innocent yukkuri cry until they die!
Does it end here? That last part with the screaming certainly indicates so, but if there is indeed more I'd like to be proven wrong. I hope someone continues this after these long, 11 months.