Interesting history thus far, i don't see it "preachy" or "artsy" A yukkuri emotionaly crippled following her hormones, an ex gold Marisa that lost her good modals, but not her smarts in the streets, and a very damaged anon.
Hope that we could find more works from this author.
Well, since it's over, I feel the need to critique:
I like the style, and I like the story, but there's a few continuum flaws.
#1. Okay, so... this Marisa was gold badge, and had a family with a stray... so... is that family the children that are with THIS Reimu, or did she go and have another family, or...?
#2. If she was a gold badge, why did she demand things of mister human? No, seriously, she should have known better. While I like her spunk, and the fact that she's insightful, that one thing didn't make sense to me.
Well, since it's over, I feel the need to critique:
I like the style, and I like the story, but there's a few continuum flaws.
#1. Okay, so... this Marisa was gold badge, and had a family with a stray... so... is that family the children that are with THIS Reimu, or did she go and have another family, or...?
#2. If she was a gold badge, why did she demand things of mister human? No, seriously, she should have known better. While I like her spunk, and the fact that she's insightful, that one thing didn't make sense to me.
will She believe reimu said her anon will accept them all but backfire to them why because reimu lie to them she run away home and came back home with no reason plus with stray husband and little one with no permission of owner of anon she break rules and lie to her family.
I still think it's the author's miss. The part where Marisa is a true gold badge is supposed to a plot twist to shock the readers when they didn't expect it. So he has to make Marisa looks like a shithead at first.
As for if Reimu is their real mother, from the previous pages, there should be another flashback episode to explain it. But with the image board taking it easy forever, we're left to speculate.
salvationhope said: will She believe reimu said her anon will accept them all but backfire to them why because reimu lie to them she run away home and came back home with no reason plus with stray husband and little one with no permission of owner of anon she break rules and lie to her family.
Okay, I know this may feel inappropriate, but let me give you a free lesson in English grammar:
Read all of that out loud to yourself. No, seriously. If you're gasping for air at any point, place a period and break it up into more sentences.
Plus, there's no evidence to support any of what you said. We don't know if Reimu lied to them. Maybe Reimu thought her owner was actually nice and would be fine with Marisa moving in, that Reimu felt lonely during the day. How do you know Reimu broke any rules? Did Mister Anon tell her not to run away? Reimu is non-badge, which means she doesn't have any knowledge of the outside world, nor did she know that her anon had his trauma with his father.
Honestly, is it possible that it can all just be one giant, bad clusterfuckery of coincidences? Or does it always have to be the yukkuri's fault?
To be honest, I was hoping it'd work out somehow. Like, maybe the anon wouldn't get over his psychological scar, but would start to see how he was being like his dad, and maybe stop himself before he did something he might regret.
It's not so much a 'good ending,' as I'd prefer simply choosing life over choosing death. I don't like how these things always end in death.
Salem said: I still think it's the author's miss. The part where Marisa is a true gold badge is supposed to a plot twist to shock the readers when they didn't expect it. So he has to make Marisa looks like a shithead at first.
As for if Reimu is their real mother, from the previous pages, there should be another flashback episode to explain it. But with the image board taking it easy forever, we're left to speculate.
I can see how that was a plot mechanic. Even still, Marisa shouldn't care much for sweet-sweets, though I could see her being concerned for her childrens' welfare. What good parent isn't?
Hitosura said: Okay, I know this may feel inappropriate, but let me give you a free lesson in English grammar:
Read all of that out loud to yourself. No, seriously. If you're gasping for air at any point, place a period and break it up into more sentences.
Plus, there's no evidence to support any of what you said. We don't know if Reimu lied to them. Maybe Reimu thought her owner was actually nice and would be fine with Marisa moving in, that Reimu felt lonely during the day. How do you know Reimu broke any rules? Did Mister Anon tell her not to run away? Reimu is non-badge, which means she doesn't have any knowledge of the outside world, nor did she know that her anon had his trauma with his father.
Honestly, is it possible that it can all just be one giant, bad clusterfuckery of coincidences? Or does it always have to be the yukkuri's fault?
I not good in english but i use common sense in story. other people here notice even Author not explain normally.
Reimu she dont have any knowledge of the outside world,
But if she lie or not she Still lie to her family other here notice it you cannot deny it.
click first post reimu look like guilty she make sin others people notice if you not notice it i disappointed to you.
being guilty part of being lie.
second post yes her child said to her she liar that true she guilty mean she 100% liar.
Third page gate broke if she true good pet she will not go outside but she fail being pet this proof she act by her own will go outside no permission by anon plus she not even badge yukkuri that why she go outside she dont know what it's good or bad if she go outside that mean she fail.
i just use common sense in story you did not take it seriously why make you confuse if you so take it so serious just use common sense solve puzzle
here explain what reimu did it's sins
1 run away home from anon
2 she not tell her familiy her anon had problems and she not tell them she run away
3 she guilty make her liar
4 she make her family in danger.
if i was her i not gonna back in house she cause anon turn into evil.
Reimu was not badge yukkuri that why she go outside.
Badge yukkuri like gold or silver has been training they not allow go outside even gate broke or door broke or window broke they will not go outside they know going outside without permission anon mean broke trust and make them liar but this reimu dont know it she not with no training she go outside she fail being yukkuri pet.
kirbyksn said: I had to upload this series seperately because of the daily upload limit, and I'm sorry to tell this is all I have, this is the final page in my PC.
I saved it several years ago from a Korean yukkuri community, and that community had taken easy forever. So I can't get any more info.
But this is a translation of the Japanese original, so I think the complete Japanese version can be somewhere on the Japanese web...
Thanks again for uploading this story. I enjoyed it very much.
I could actually foresee the ending. Know what I see?
Anon slips.
Look at that tiny edge. Marisa would be okay. Big anon could easily slip and fall.
Perhaps in his hospital stay, and in his realization of how close he came to dying, he could awaken to all the dirt on his soul.
Marisa and Reimu could be there, waiting for him, despite it all.
Would be a good ending. The end of one chapter in anon's life, and the start of another.
Except that isn't even remotely how real life works.
A loved one turns out to be so emotionally unstable that he's willing to kill. He's extremely possessive, illogical, and unpredictable. He does not have your best interest in mind and can and will end up hurting people.
Mister falls off the roof. Probably hurts real bad. Maybe goes unconscious.
He wakes up, no one is there. Not a damn person is there, because he socially isolated himself and drove off the only thing resembling a family that he turned out to need, because he is a damaged individual and is hazardous to people around him. How fair it is is irrelevant, how much you deserve it is irrelevant. Here in the real world, we have these things called "Consequences," and they have a habit of sucking really freaking bad, even if you have the worst life imaginable.
Marisa and Reimu and their family run as far away as they possibly can, not knowing if mister is alive and not caring. Fuck him, fuck that, fuck everything. They just want to be safe. Anon starts off the new chapter of his life alone. He never sees Reimu again.
That's how the story would end in reality. And honestly, it's probably better that way.
Updated
this makes me look like a bad guy. well well,How far you gonna run away.. hehehe*blood dripping*Yu*blood dripping*