anko3794: A Competition with Marisa
Anon goes on a nature hike in the woods and stumbles across a clan of wild yukkuris who insult him and threaten to punish him for trespassing on their territory. (Unbeknownst to Anon, these yukkuris are the descendants of abandoned scum pet yukkuris, hence their arrogance and bad attitudes.)
Anon could kill them all, but he doesn't want to make a mess in the beautiful wilderness, and he could run away, but he doesn't want to tire himself out and get his lunch all shaken up just because of some yukkuris. Instead, as the yukkuris advance on him with sticks, he challenges their Boss Marisa to a competition of nest-building, hunting, and fighting, to be judged by the yukkuris of the clan. If Anon wins, the yukkuris let him go without punishing him; if Marisa wins, Anon will give the yukkuris sweet-sweets. Marisa considers it a given that she'll win, so demands that Anon hand over the sweet-sweets right now. Anon has to mock her, saying she must be afraid she'll lose, to get her to go through with the competition. Then it takes a while for them to establish the rules, but finally they settle on:
Part 1: House-building. The time allotted is however long it takes Marisa to build her house. The winner is whichever house the yukkuris of the clan say they want to live in.
Part 2: Hunting. The time allotted is however long it takes Marisa to gather her food. The winner is whichever batch of food the clan yukkuris want to eat. However, the judges won't know which competitor gathered which batch of food.
Part 3: Fighting. The winner is whoever makes their opponent say they give up.
The competition begins. Marisa starts jabbing a stick at the ground to find a suitably soft spot to make a house, and Anon wanders off to another spot. At this point, he could just walk away if he wanted to, but his competitive spirit is up, and he used to enjoy making stuff when he was a kid, so he takes out a knife and starts gathering sticks...
Anon hears the yukkuris raving over Marisa's completed house and wanders back to see. Several yukkuris let slip that they helped work on it, but Anon doesn't say anything about the cheating. Marisa has made a nest just big enough for two adult yukkuris, with some sticks and flowers to "coordinate" the entrance. The yukkuri judges praise its beauty and spaciousness, but then Anon shows them his house. It's a miniature log cabin big enough for five yukkuris, complete with soft leaves on the floor, a bed, a table, a food-storage box, and some carved bowls and things. The yukkuris are in raptures over it. Marisa furiously demands that they declare her the winner, and the judges pause awkwardly--Marisa is their leader, but yukkuris aren't very good at lying. Just then, Anon says that he'll give his house to whichever yukkuri votes for him, and they all immediately declare him the winner.
Marisa is angry, but she has confidence in her hunting ability. She hops off to gather food (and Anon notices some yukkuris following her to help.) Anon is sitting fiddling with his cellphone when she comes back. Marisa and Anon display their food on leaves, and Marisa calls in the yukkuris to judge. They head for Marisa's piles of bugs, flowers, and mushrooms, but they slow as they catch a whiff of something else delicious. Anon has laid out a pile of bite-sized chocolates. Curiously, they taste them, and are overwhelmed by HAPPINESS! Amused, Anon asks them which they like better, and they choose the sweet-sweets, praising their leader's hunting ability and asking her to teach them how to hunt for sweet-sweets, too. Anon reveals that the pile of sweet-sweets is _his_ entry into the competition. Furious, Boss Marisa yells at the yukkuris that they have to taste both entries before they choose, but after having eaten chocolate, the yukkuris' taste buds are spoiled, and they find the bugs and flowers disgusting.
Anon teases the enraged Marisa until she attacks, and then he kicks her away. She slams into the house she built and lies there, twitching. The other yukkuris are shocked and rather afraid of Anon. He has ended up enjoying this, so he leaves in a good mood, leaving some extra chocolates for the baby-yus napping in his house. It's getting late, so Anon heads home, looking forward to buying himself a drink (and some woodworking kits to play with).
One month later, Anon comes back to the forest with three small wooden houses on a cart. He's gotten back into woodworking, and since he made some slightly irregular practice pieces, he thought he'd give them to the yukkuris. However, he can't find any of the yukkuris, and even when he finds the log cabin he made, there are only squirrels inside. So, he leaves his new houses for the squirrels instead and goes back home.
Anon doesn't know that after he left, Boss Marisa flew into a rage but ended up being punished by the other yukkuris. He doesn't know that the yukkuris ended up fighting over the house he made. He doesn't know that the babies ate the chocolate and then became unable to eat anything else. Anon doesn't know, and he never will know.
Anon thinks about getting a pet yukkuri and making a little house for it. He wonders if his yukkuri will praise it and say it can take it easy.